‘You don’t look disabled’ — seeing the unseen struggles
![Living with an invisible disability can be difficult to explain to new people who may be unfamiliar with certain conditions. [Source: Leylaynr via iStock]](https://agedcareguide-assets.imgix.net/news/articles/wp/iStock__2605.jpg?fm=pjpg)
For those with invisible disability, a sunflower lanyard may not immediately tell people what they need to hear about your life experience.
At first glance, Michael* looks like any other 72-year-old enjoying his retirement. He walks unaided, holds lively conversations and meets friends for coffee weekly. What you don’t see is the constant mental fog from chronic fatigue syndrome, the sensory overwhelm triggered by loud noises and the daily battle with nerve pain from fibromyalgia. Michael has an invisible disability, one that’s real, debilitating and often dismissed.
Unlike visible disabilities, invisible ones, such as neurological conditions, autoimmune diseases, chronic pain and mental health disorders, don’t come with outward signs. Since they’re not immediately apparent, they may be frequently overlooked, misunderstood or even outright questioned.
The phrase ‘you don’t look disabled’ may seem harmless, but for many, it invalidates years of coping, adapting and surviving. It feeds into a damaging narrative: that disability must be visible to be legitimate.
*Names may have been changed to protect the identity of those involved.
The weight of invisibility
Living with an invisible disability can be exhausting. Beyond managing symptoms, individuals often face social stigma, internalised guilt and limited access to appropriate support. Public spaces may not be designed with them in mind. Services might exclude them due to narrow definitions of disability and, socially, they may feel pressured to ‘perform’ wellness just to be believed.
This invisibility also creates barriers to advocacy. People are less likely to speak up when their experiences are constantly doubted. This silence perpetuates the cycle of misunderstanding, especially in older adults, where signs of disability are often written off as ‘just getting old.’
Support that sees the whole person
Thankfully, awareness is growing and, with it, support systems that are more inclusive and human-centred.
- Accessing formal support
Many invisible disabilities are now recognised under the National Disability Insurance Scheme, particularly if they significantly impact daily functioning. A good GP or advocate can help navigate eligibility.
- Community and peer groups
Talking with others who understand can be transformative. Many local councils and online groups offer support networks tailored to chronic illness, neurological conditions and mental health.
- Assistive tools
Support doesn’t always look like a wheelchair or a ramp. Noise-cancelling headphones, fatigue management apps, digital planners and disability parking permits are all legitimate tools for invisible needs.
- Workplace and social adjustments
Whether it’s reducing hours, setting boundaries with family or using a hidden disabilities lanyard when travelling, making invisible needs visible — on your terms — is empowering.
A culture shift starts with us
Supporting those with invisible disabilities requires a mindset shift — from suspicion to trust, from assumptions to empathy. It’s about listening without judgment and understanding that disability comes in many forms, not all of which can be seen.
So, next time you see someone using a disabled toilet, parking in an accessible bay or needing extra time, resist the urge to assess based on appearances. Instead, offer what we all need more of: patience, compassion and the benefit of the doubt.
Because you don’t need to see the struggle to support it.
Do you live with an invisible disability? Let the team at Talking Disability know and subscribe to the newsletter for more information, news and industry updates.
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